Well well well. I thought. I will be good at this game. Oh yes. My hands have been practicing all their little lives for this moment. I'll invite all my friends over and shrug my shoulders modestly whilst they marvel at my dexterity.

I didn't invite them over. So it was a mistake to go straight in at medium level. All I need is a little practice, a slight adjustment of the wrist. Surely I can get to the end of one of these hellish rock tunes?

This game is not for guitarists. Or maybe just not this guitarist. Secretly my rhythm is a little out. When I play bass or drums I feel like an awkward teenager trying to introduce himself to the girl of his dreams. And at heart this is a rhythm game. It is lots of fun too, but I'd rather spend hours on the real thing.

After playing through all those rock songs I thought I was well-primed to write one of my own. It is a particular kind of art. I found new respect for the rock-anthem writers I previously thought slightly passe.

Thank the heavens for my neighbour and guitar-god, Iwan. My little tune was sounding a little thin and needed nothing more than some expert rock-wailing.

I loved the footage that everyone sent in for this video, it was very entertaining. I want to do something like that again. Next time I'd like to see you dancing. I love it that all over the country people are playing their plastic guitars. I love the sticky plastic noise it makes when you press the buttons, a bit like the toys they make for one year olds.

It was Christmas when I made the video and I was visiting my family in Kent. My siblings and I went out to Brighton to dance. We were typically over-keen and got to the club super early so I took the opportunity to get on the empty stage and prance around a little while my brother and sisters disowned me.

It wasn't long before we were asked to leave. My attempt to film our removal did not go down too well with the bouncers. Underneath their puffa jackets, shaved heads and rolls of muscle-fat they have very soft hearts, but that night I failed to get through.

Rock Star - Lyrics

I never took lessons, never broke a string
but I can hammer on and pull off like I'm the real thing
I practice day and night for my living room
All the world's a stage and they're screaming my name,
They're screaming my name

I am a rock star, I'll rock you out with my plastic guitar
I am a rock god, I'll rock you hard with my buttons and knobs

I've got star power I hit every chord
It feels so good to be good at something everyone adores
Cause my gaming fingers have been somewhat ignored
I'm working my pinky like I'm a regular stud
I'm a regular stud

I am a rock star, I'll rock you out with my plastic guitar
I am a rock god, I'll rock you hard with my buttons and knobs

Watch me fly down the fretboard highway
Watch me blow you away

I am a rock star and I will rock you out with my plastic guitar
I am a rock god and I will rock you hard with my buttons, my buttons and knobs

Just because I play a plastic guitar doesn't mean I'm not a rock star

Written by Rebecca Mayes

You can support Rebecca by buying Guitar Hero Song Review Lyrics



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Rebecca Mayes writes the Rebecca Mayes column.

"Welcome to my blog. I thought I'd let you in on a few of the secrets that go on backstage in the world of Rebecca Mayes."

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