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In today's Scripted Gamer Fred and Bob discuss heroes, villains and really bad jokes.
Confused? Listen to the Scripted Gamer Pilot episode to meet our reviewers and hear how it all started that fateful day.
Scene: We join Bob and Fred on a stage with a sofa on it. Bob and Fred enter clearly having a disagreement of some sort.
Bob: It's just not accurate I'm afraid.
Fred: Oh c'mon what does it really matter.
Bob: Of course it matters, it's false advertising.
Fred: False advertising?
Bob: Yes it's false advertising.
Fred: Good evening ladies and gents, sorry about this but Bob and I are having a disagreement about todays game.
Bob: It's only a disagreement if neither person is right, but I AM right so it is simply a statement of F.A.C.T. fact!
Fred: (sighs) The game we're looking at today is Monsters Vs Aliens.
Fred: Which is based on the dreamworks animation of the same name.
Bob: All Lies
Fred: Bob has decided that the title of this quirky little game is false.
Bob: It is. It's not Monsters vs Aliens it's Four Monsters vs One Alien and his legion of Robots.
Fred: Doesn't quite have the same ring to it though does it?
Bob: Monsters vs Alien and Robots?
Fred: Still not the same.
Bob: Hmm well, maybe not but I still think they should have gotten around it.
Fred: Well technically when the alien clones himself the title does then become right.
Bob: (pause) Hmmm, yeah ok, I can accept that.
Fred: Good now can we talk about the game
Bob: It's a cookery game
Fred: A what now?
Bob: A cookery game
Fred: In what possible way does this game have any cookery in it whatsoever?
Bob: No, you don't get it. A cookery game, a game that is made up from ingredients from lots of other games.
Fred: Oh I see, a cookery game, so does that mean it's a bad thing?
Bob: No not at all y'see they have been clever by borrowing from the best, there are elements from Ratchet and Clank, Crash Bandicoot, and even Jak and Daxter. So the bits they take.
Fred: Especially the bosses.
Bob: Especially the bosses are the best bits from other games. But...
Fred: And remember kids there's always a but.
Bob: BUT! It does get a little bit repetitive.
Bob: Exactly. Once you've played the first few levels you know what you're going to get for the rest of the game.
Fred: So you like it?
Bob: I liked it a lot, even more so now the title issue has been successfully resolved for me. But...
Fred: And remember kids, there's...
Bob: Will you shut up! But I didn't love it.
Fred: So if your kids liked the movie and they like games with funny characters.
Bob: Then they'll love this.
Fred: Next time we're going to be looking at...
Bob: The different ways in which to silence a co-worker. We've been the scripted gamers! Good night!
With so many different perspectives it can be hard to know where to start - a little like walking into a crowded pub. Sorry about that.
But so far we've not found a way to streamline our review output - there's basically too much of it. So, rather than dilute things for newcomers we have decided to live with the hubbub while helping new readers find the columnists they will enjoy.
Our columnists each focus on a particular perspective and fall into one of the following types of gamers: