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Fred and Bob, swallow their dissapointment of the pure imaginary aspect of the game and find a wonderful experience to be had.
Scene: We join Bob and Fred on a stage with a sofa on it. Stephen Fry's narration from Little BIG Planet wafts through the air. Fred is on the sofa fast asleep, behind him appears the opening cinema of the game. Bob enters and watches the screen with awe and slowly becomes more and more excited. When it is finished Bob walks over to Fred.
Bob: (quietly) Fred.
Fred: (in his sleep) no... no.
Bob: (little bit louder) Fred.
Fred: No ...wasn't me mmm.
Bob: (shouting) Fred!
Fred jumps out of his skin.
Fred: No mum, the jam jar was like that when I found it!
Bob: The what was where now?
Fred: Arrrghhh, oh uhh, hey buddy how are you?
Bob: I am fine my sleepy freaky dreaming little friend, we are going on holiday!
Fred: Holiday? Where to?
Bob: The Little Big planet my friend!
Fred: Umm are you being serious?
Bob: Of course, Mr Stephen Fry himself just told me that we can go there right now!
Fred: Umm mate I hate to tell you this, but there is no Little Big Planet.
Silence as we see Bobs heart break a little inside.
Bob: Yes there is.
Fred: I'm afraid not.
Bob: Stephen Fry said so and he's really clever therefore it must exist.
Fred: It exists as a game my friend.
Bob: A game! (mumbling to himself)
Fred: Look lets have a play shall we?
Bob: Well if we're not going on holiday then we may as well.
Fred starts playing.
Stephen Fry: You're a little sack person
Bob: No I'm not!
Stephen Fry: This one is you, aww bless, you're quite a cute one.
Bob: Oh I'm cute am I Stephen 'full of lies' Fry!
Fred: Bob just relax and enjoy the game.
Stephen Fry: Off you go.
Introduction music begins
Bob: I will not relax, I'm an angry (pause) I refuse to rel...
Fred: See there ya go.
Bob: This music's, making, me, r-e-l-a-x.
Fred: See now that's much better isn't it.
Bob: Yeah ok, I've calmed down but that Fry better watch what he says.
Fred: Aww c'mon he's not that bad, and the game is flipping amazing.
Bob: It is cool that you can make your own levels, some are pure magic.
Stephen Fry: Some magic, eh some tragic.
Bob: Hmm indeed.
Fred: And it does bring memories of the really good platform games that you played as a kid. I love this game.
Bob: I like it, but refuse to love it based on the lies of Stephen fry.
Fred: Look Stephen fry loves us.
Bob: Prove it...
Fred: Fine. Stephen how important, nay how useful is mine and Bob's show to the video games industry.
Stephen Fry: It's the most useful tool since some Swiss bloke welded a knife and a screwdriver together.
Bob: Wow he really does like us.
Fred: Yup apparently we are fashionable as well.
Stephen Fry: Ahh you're gonna be the talk of Little Big Planet in that get up.
Bob: Aww thanks Stephen.
Stephen Fry: either that or the laughing stock.
Fred: You had to ruin it didn't you. Well look ladies and gents, aside from an extremely sarcastic celebrity.
Bob: Uhh look at me I do voice overs, I'm really clever.
Stephen Fry: Look at that a face like a smacked bottom.
Bob: I'm gonna kill him.
Stephen Fry: You can stop being all mean and moody now. Were all very impressed.
Fred: Bob calm down think happy thoughts, or I'll tickle you.
Bob: Oh no I'm happy (said with grumpy face)
Little big planet is genius, the more of you playing it at one time. The more fun it becomes.
Fred tickles Bob and he bursts out laughing
Stephen Fry: There see. You're happy.
Bob: Alright Fry the shows almost done.
Stephen Fry: ahhh
Bob: But a quick sum up for you avid gamers. Little big planet is genius, the more of you playing it at one time. The more fun it becomes. The created levels are sometimes as much fun as the actual levels. And despite him being evil the narration is spot on.
Fred: So there ya go, we've been the Scripted Gamers.
Bob: And This is the end!
Stephen Fry: Off you go!
With so many different perspectives it can be hard to know where to start - a little like walking into a crowded pub. Sorry about that.
But so far we've not found a way to streamline our review output - there's basically too much of it. So, rather than dilute things for newcomers we have decided to live with the hubbub while helping new readers find the columnists they will enjoy.
Our columnists each focus on a particular perspective and fall into one of the following types of gamers: