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In Today's Scripted Gamer Fred and Bob discuss Portal 2. Or as they like to call it, Now you see me, now you don't.
Confused? Listen to the Scripted Gamer Pilot episode to meet our reviewers and hear how it all started that fateful day.
Scene: Bob and Fred are sat on a sofa with two Xbox 360 controllers.
Fred: Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to scripted gamer
Bob: Todays game is what I like to call a 'Bob'
Bob: A 'Bob'
Fred: A 'Bob'... but that's just your name
Bob: Ah but is it though.
Fred: Well..yes it is, if I called the game a 'Fred'.
Bob: Ah no you see it wouldn't work with you.
Fred: What wouldn't work.
Bob: The metapohor.
Bob: Look todays game is completely unique there is no other game like it out there
Fred: I'd concur with that
Bob: And I am also completely unique, there is no one else like me.
Fred: That is definitely true.
Bob: Therefore this game is a 'Bob' completely unique
Fred: So why couldn't it be a 'Fred'
Bob: Really Fred there are loads of people like you
Fred: There are not!
Bob: Quite posh, definitely repressed
Fred: You name two!
Bob: David Mitchell, Stephen Fry
Fred: Well....fine but.
Bob: Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Sir Ian Mckellen...
Fred: Yes alright.
Bob: Hugh Dennis, Martin Clunes, Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber...
Fred: I think you've made your point.
Bob:Sir David Attenborough, Captain Mannering...
Fred: He's fictional.
Bob: Joanna Lumley..
Fred: She's a Woman! Enough ok I get it I'm not unique in any way. Fine, can we talk about the game please?
Bob: Not all of us can be unique fred.
Fred: Today's game is Portal 2.
Bob: Well that's a bit obvious.
Fred: What are you on about now?
Bob: Well you can't just have one portal can you, you need two otherwise you'd end up exactly where you started?
Bob: They should have called it two portals really.
Fred: The first game was just called Portal.
Bob: Bet it was short then.
Fred: Anyway Portal 2 is a first person puzzle shooter Where you have to shoot portals that allow you to get to hard to reach places.
Bob: Like that bit in the middle of your back that always itches but you can never quite reach it.
Fred: No nothing like that. You use the portals to transport objects, yourself or even extend existing places. It's un ique not only in its gameplay but also in the humour that has been perfectly carried into teh second game as the evil GlaDOS makes her return and also a new character voiced by Stephen merchant
Bob: Add an epic co-op mode and you have what is destined to be another classic game.
Fred: I'm afraid that's all we've got time for today.
Bob: You're kinda like that guy who played the gamesmaster as well ...patrick...Moore, that's the one.
Fred: We've been the scripted gamers goodnight.
With so many different perspectives it can be hard to know where to start - a little like walking into a crowded pub. Sorry about that.
But so far we've not found a way to streamline our review output - there's basically too much of it. So, rather than dilute things for newcomers we have decided to live with the hubbub while helping new readers find the columnists they will enjoy.
Our columnists each focus on a particular perspective and fall into one of the following types of gamers: