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In today's Scripted Gamer Fred and Bob discuss heroes, villains and really bad jokes.
Confused? Listen to the Scripted Gamer Pilot episode to meet our reviewers and hear how it all started that fateful day.
Scene: We join Bob and Fred on a stage with a sofa on it. They enter, Bob dressed in a cowboy outfit and sit down to pick up their 360 controllers.
Fred: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another scripted gamer. Today we're looking at a more adult game so if you're under the age of 18 then this is not going to be suitable for you - Wanted: Weapons of Fate on the 360.
Bob enters from the side with a gun by his side
Bob: So, you thought you could get rid of me that easily eh!
Fred: Rid of you? I'm annoyed that your late, I had to start the show without you.
Bob: Well now you know that I'm still alive, my friend, it's time for you to meet your maker.
Fred: My Maker? But my mum lives in Clapham.
Bob dives behind the sofa shooting from his fake gun as he goes
Fred: What are doing behind the sofa?
Bob: Taking cover...obviously!
Fred: From Whom and to what purpose?
Bob: You'll never get rid of me, the loom of fate chose you.
Fred: The loom of... oh you have got to be kidding me
Bob: You thought you had me but no, now it is I who have you!
Fred: Bob, seriously! If you're going to behave like a child
Bob: A child of Danger.
Fred: Fine I'll do the review without you.
Bob: We shall see.
Fred: Wanted: Weapons of Fate is a third person shooter continuing where the Wanted movie left off.
Bob: You're an assassin!
Fred: Shush you. But yes you play Wesley Gibson an assassin with extraordinary skills.
Bob: He can bend bullets!
Fred: (Sigh) Yes he can bend bullets and if you kill enough bad guys you actually slow time down and do a bullet-time manoeuvre.
Bob: Youuuuuuullllll nneeevvveeeerrrr ttttaaaaakkkeeee mmmeeeeeee Alliiiiivvveeee.
Fred: You do realise talking in slow motion doesn’t make you faster right? (sigh). It's a fun game to play but is highly repetitive.
Bob: But you're an assassin, that by default makes the game awesome.
Fred: The bosses are easy to kill and by the end you feel a bit bored.
Bob: But you're an ASSASSIN!
Fred: I'm aware of that Bob but being an assassin doesn't make this a good game.
Bob: Of course it does. It's also got swearing so you feel a bit naughty when you play it.
Fred: Some people may see that as a bad thing Bob.
Bob: That's cos they aren't assassins like me.
Fred: Look, you're not an assassin!
Bob: I've got a gun.
Fred: It's not real.
Bob: I slowed down time.
Fred: You slowed yourself down so if anything you made yourself a massively slow target!
Bob: Yeah well (pause) well (goes quiet). You spoil all my fun.
Fred: Now don't get like that.
Bob: I liked the game
Fred: And you're allowed to like it, I just didn't like it as much as you did.
Bob: Hmmm well I guess I'll let you live for now, count yourself lucky to have escaped from the world's most deadly.
Fred: Idiot! We've been the scripted gamers, see you next time.
With so many different perspectives it can be hard to know where to start - a little like walking into a crowded pub. Sorry about that.
But so far we've not found a way to streamline our review output - there's basically too much of it. So, rather than dilute things for newcomers we have decided to live with the hubbub while helping new readers find the columnists they will enjoy.
Our columnists each focus on a particular perspective and fall into one of the following types of gamers: