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I'm taking you on a little trip down memory lane to my review of Wolverine Uncaged. I must admit, I haven't seen the movie. The reviews of it were so bad and as much as I love Huge Jackman, the two hours of my life were too precious. It seems people agree that in terms of storyline the game is a lot better than the movie, so that's one thing in its favour.
There's no real point in me trying to pretend I'm not a pacifist; you've heard my songs. Pacifist is maybe not the right word, but you get my gist. No diggs for violence. And this game is pretty violent. Boringly so. Clearly some sort of therapy is necessary. I couldn't resist...But then, something else began to worry me. Once you've gotten the hang of the lunge attack, you'd be stupid to use anything else. It always works. That annoyed me.
At that time I was being critiqued for my songs being repetitive, or having repetitive motifs in them, and so I decided to be even more repetitive, and reference it in the song itself, to show it was intentional. Alas, the irony went unnoticed by the majority of my protestors, and they used it to bash me even more. This made me smile, slightly smugly. The superiority of the subversive. It was the only kind of comfort I was gonna get.
I had lots of fun making this video. My brother nobly stepped into the (pretty lame) wolverine costume (yes we stuffed his arms with socks), we couldn't stop laughing, particularly when trying to act full of rage. Two days later I met a man who looked exactly like Wolverine. I said, you are a week late. I hope to continue materialising the protagonist of my game reviews magically into my life. Although this week I am doing WET and I'd rather not meet Rubi Malone.
I'm really glad you came to therapy You've recognised your violent tendancies And that's the first step to recovery So sit down, sit down, sit down on the couch Show me, show me, show me your account of the problem Cause they say you're a maniac but I think you're boring you just jump on the boss' back They say you're a maniac But you're just an addict of the lunge attack If I were you I'd add a few extra moves Don't you know you've got something to prove The last thing you want to be accused of is being repetitive So sit down, sit down, sit down on the couch I'll show you, show you, show you what it's all about Cause they say you're a maniac but I think you're boring you just jump on the boss' back They say you're a maniac But you're just an addict of the lunge attack Where is your rage? I thought they let you out the cage I wanna see your rage They say you're a maniac but what do they know? You're just a superhero Da da da da da da Da da da da da da Da da da da da da... (x-men theme tune)
With so many different perspectives it can be hard to know where to start - a little like walking into a crowded pub. Sorry about that.
But so far we've not found a way to streamline our review output - there's basically too much of it. So, rather than dilute things for newcomers we have decided to live with the hubbub while helping new readers find the columnists they will enjoy.
Our columnists each focus on a particular perspective and fall into one of the following types of gamers: