Bionic Commando, bit of a tricky customer this fella when it came to lyrics. I found it boring, pretentious and disappointing. Yawn.

I don't pretend to remember much of the 80's but I did grow up loving the arcade games and I did have a pretty impressive mullet. I toyed with the idea of recreating it for the video.

Even without the mullet I got thrown out of Paignton arcades, where I filmed some of the video. They were very angry indeed. They even put their hand in front of my camara like people do when they've been caught out on a documentary as some kind of fraud. I told them not to worry and that I was making a video for a song that I've written as a review of a computer game and they looked at me like everyone does when I tell them that. Concerned.

I regret not taking my spiderman outfit to the streets. It was quite a good effort, except that the eyes kept falling off and I spent the whole time pressing them into my head like I was trying to kill off my sight. I kept a little clip of me doing this in the video because for some reason I find it comic and always tell people when I show them this one: my eyes kept falling off.

Listen.

Take me Back to the Eighties - Lyrics

You can drop kick your opponents in the teeth
You can hurl dead bodies at their feet but you can't run free

So take me back to the eighties cause you grew up and I didn't like you so much
Take me back to the arcades cause you grew up and I didn't like you so much

You're no, you're no, you're no spiderman

Trapped in a linear prison, radiated once too often
Every weapon lacks punch they're peashooters

So take me back to the eighties before you grew that giant chip on your shoulder
Take me back to the arcades where product placement would never feature

You're no, you're no, you're no spiderman

Shoot the bad guys, hack the terminal and swing to the next location

You're no, you're no, you're no spiderman

- - - - -
Rebecca stars on the hilarious, quirky and downright brilliant, The Escapist Magazine.

Written by Rebecca Mayes

Rebecca Mayes writes the Rebecca Mayes column. "Welcome to my new blog. I thought I'd let you in on a few of the secrets that go on backstage in the world of Rebecca Mayes."

Rebecca Mayes's recent reviews:

• Today is the Day
• You Won't Like Me When I'm Angry
• Big Guns
• Oh Armpits!

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