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In todays instalment Bob and Fred our scripted duo have been enjoying Wolverine, perhaps a little too much.
Confused? Listen to the Scripted Gamer Pilot episode to meet our reviewers and hear how it all started that fateful day.
Scene: A couch sits in the middle of the stage with two controllers on it. Bob is wearing some Styrofoam claws.
Bob: Schnickety schnickety slash slash slash.
Fred: (in his best David Attenborough voice) Here we see Geekus addictus in his natural habitat.
Fred: The Geekus is a rare breed that becomes obsessed with a character and attempts to imitate it. This Geekus has recently started to play the Wolverine: Origins on the Xbox 360. As you can see by his cry of anguish Geekus is not doing well.
Bob: I am the Wolverine.
Fred: No you're not.
Bob: YES I am! I have claws and everything.
Fred: Retract them then.
Fred: Retract them. The real wolverine can retract his claws at will.
Bob: I can do that.
Fred: Prove it.
Bob: Ok...I will....What is that?
Fred: what is what? There's nothing...
Bob: Ha see told you I could retract them.
Fred: Really... So you didnít just rip them off then
Fred: and youíre not standing on them now!
Fred: Ok then Pop them back out
Bob: (nervously) What?
Fred: Pop them back out.
Bob: I'm not your puppet, I will pop them out when I feel good and ready.
Fred: Is that what Wolverine would do?
Bob: I am Wolver...no that can't be right, he would have popped his claws, I mean I would have...I don't understand.
Fred: And as the Spell is broken...
Bob: Where am I?
Fred: Geekus returns to his former state of simply...Geek.
Bob: Oh hi Fred.
Fred: Hey Bob, what do you think of the new Wolverine game?
Bob: You know considering the fact that it's based on the movie and most movie to game conversions are uber cheese, this one is not bad at all.
Fred: You liked it then?
Bob: Oh yeah, it's like a mix between tomb raider and streets of rage. There's combo fights, puzzles to solve, and it's really gory too.
Fred: So not for kids then.
Bob: Noooee, only hardcore adults can tame this bad boy.
Fred: People like you then?
Bob: Oh yeah, I am hardcore.
Fred: Just like Wolverine
Bob: Just like....better than than just like.
Fred: Here we go again.
Bob: I am Wolverine!
As Bob prances about the stage mimicking claw action Fred turns to the audience
Fred: So if you want an immersive not half bad conversion, Wolverine may be worth a look, but be careful cos there's a bit of Geekus in all of us. I'm Fred
Bob: And I'm Wolverine.
Fred and Bob: And we are the scripted gamers.
With so many different perspectives it can be hard to know where to start - a little like walking into a crowded pub. Sorry about that.
But so far we've not found a way to streamline our review output - there's basically too much of it. So, rather than dilute things for newcomers we have decided to live with the hubbub while helping new readers find the columnists they will enjoy.
Our columnists each focus on a particular perspective and fall into one of the following types of gamers: